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Ancient Psychedelia: Alien Gods & Mushroom Goddesses
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    Princess Nobody

    One of the most primal stories of the fairies, where the basic story is told, similar to the “world tree” story, but relating to the king’s heir is the story of Princess Nobody, a Tale of Fairyland by Andrew Lang, which was first published in 1884. The story begins with a happy kingdom, but one sadness prevails. The king and queen have no heir or child. They would do anything for a child and one day the king prays for one:

    “One day, when the King had been counting out his money all day (the day when the tributes were paid in), he grew very tired. He took off his crown and went into his garden. Then he looked all round his kingdom, and said, “Ah! I would give it all for a BABY!” No sooner had the King said this, then he heard a little squeaking voice near his foot: “You shall have a lovely Baby, if you will give me what I ask.”

    The King looked down, and there was the funniest little Dwarf that ever was seen. He had a high red cap like a flower. He had a big moustache, and a short beard that curled outwards. His cloak was red, like his cap, and his coat was green, and he rode on a green Frog. Many people would have been frightened, but the King was used to Fairies. “You shall have a beautiful Baby, if you will give me what I ask,” said the Dwarf again. “I’ll give you anything you like,” said the King. “Then promise to give me NIENTE,” said the Dwarf. “Certainly,” said the King (who had not an idea what NIENTE meant). “How will you take it?” “I will take it,” said the Dwarf, “in my own way, on my own day.”

    The queen had a child while the kingdom was at war and a message was delivered to the kin. When the king inquired about the gender of birth he was told it was a girl and when he asked her name, the nurse replied, “Till your Majesty’s return, we thought it better not to christen the Princess,” said the Nurse, “so we have called her by the Italian name for Nothing: Niente; the Princess Niente, your Majesty.” So, it was that the king was to lose his only daughter to the promise to the Dwarf who granted him his wish. But when the day came to pay the piper the king remembered what the Queen of the Water Fairies told him about her Goddaughter, that if there was any trouble to send the gnome over to see her.

    This took place and the gnome was very angry and went to see her but warned the king he would take Niente. A resolution was worked out the only way the Queen of the Water Fairies could work it out.

    “She flew to the King, and said, “I can only help you by making the Princess vanish clean away. I have a bird here on whose back she can fly away in safety. The Dwarf will not get her, but you will never see her again, unless a brave Prince can find her where she is hidden, and guarded by my Water Fairies.”

      Now, it should be pointed out here that first of all, we have a repeating theme of the king who has no heir to pass his progeny to, which is central to many mythological stories we have read in this book so far. But now we have a recurring theme that is being reinforced in a new way. The incubus of Merlin’s birth features in the sperm provider of this “demi-god” child. Not only that, but this child is “taken” away by some sort of prior contract. The child is taken from the parents as many people feared would happen to their own children around the countryside of England and Scotland in the medieval times.

    The next section of the story, chapter 2, is called “In Mushroom Land.” What happens next is that the king and queen decide to offer their daughter to any prince who can find her as well as a position of the kingdom. The princes set out to find her and had to enter mushroom land. One prince among them was ugly, old and odd and the others laughed at him and he was named Prince Comical. But it was Prince Comical who rescued a daddy longlegs from a band of prankster gnomes who were pulling his legs for fun, and he told him that the daughter was likely in mushroom land. Then Comical and his group found a beetle who would be their guide and off they went. When they got to mushroom land, the first thing that happened was “the Black Beetle pointed out to the Prince a great smooth round red thing, a long way off.”

    “That is the first Mushroom in Mushroom Land,” said the Beetle. ‘Now come with me, and you shall see, what you shall see.’ So, the Prince followed the Beetle, till they came to the Mushroom. ‘Climb up and look over,’ said the Beetle. So, the Prince climbed up, and looked over. There he saw a crowned King, sound asleep. Here is the Prince Comical (you see he is not very handsome!); and here is the King so sound asleep. ‘Try to waken him,’ said the Beetle; ‘just try.’ So, the Prince tried to waken the King, but it was of no use. ‘Now, take warning by that,’ said the Black Beetle, ‘and never go to sleep under a Mushroom in Mushroom country. You will never wake, if you do, till the Princess Niente is found again’.”

    The prince had been warned but his entourage did not know this and when they grew tired and wanted to rest, as dusk came and the “Elves began to come out for their dance, for Elves only dance at dusk, and they could not help joining them, which was very imprudent, as they had plenty to do the next day, and it would have been wiser if they had gone to sleep. The Elves went on with their play till midnight, and exactly at midnight the Elves stopped their play, and undressed, and got up into the boughs of a big tree and went to sleep. You may wonder how the Elves know when it is midnight, as there are no clocks in Mushroom Land, of course. But they cannot really help knowing, as it is exactly at twelve that the Mushrooms begin to grow, and the little Mushrooms come up. Now the Elves covered every branch of the tree, as you see in the picture, and the Fairies did not know where to lie down. At last they decided to lie down under a very big Mushroom.”

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